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Unsurprisingly, online dating brings out the worst. before permanently deleting my account after receiving little more than creepy (and sometimes downright revolting) messages," the anonymous Asian-American columnist "O. A sample: "I'm just a big strong American man who will love and protect you :)" "I didn't feel safe on these sites.

I felt really exposed," Susie Lee, a Korean American, told the Seattle Times.

Meeting new people in a romantic sense is difficult for anyone.

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My issue with being an Asian woman and trying to date has less to do with my perception of myself, and everything to do with the way I am treated and perceived by men, specifically non-Asian men.

But this essay isn’t about that type of yellow fever. While I’m sympathetic to the plight of Asian women who are exotified by awful white men, this new, zeitgeisty application of the term “yellow fever” hasn’t replaced the way it was used in my schoolyard all those years ago: as a catchall term for Asian person.

This is the same way my friends use it while teasing me now—they’re not accusing me of fetishizing my current or past girlfriends.

It's behavior experienced by many minority groups online, whether it's transgender women, black women or lesbians. The messages often zero in on the most hackneyed and offensive stereotypes about Asian women, from their assumed docility or sweetness to the ironic assumption that they're also better in bed.

Asian women are a particularly notable example, and it has name: "yellow fever."Now more than ever, as online dating grows, there need to be more safe spaces that tamp down the "fever" — and empower women to have the kinds of interactions they want. "I've received my fair share of doozies, including questions about my personal hygiene because of my race," Cherlynn Low wrote for Mic, as well as "questions about what I do in the bedroom or about my body parts."The worst of them were masterfully collected up in 2013 on a Tumblr called, simply, creepywhiteguys.

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Dating can be an awful affair for people of all genders, races, and orientations, but when you’re dating across categories of privilege, romance can be even more terrifying.

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