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...until I met an elderly gentleman at a dinner in Jaipur recently, whom I first reckoned to be Wayne Rooney's dad, then a mobster on whom Guy Ritchie had based the character of Barry 'The Baptist' in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.

He turned out to be a retired British diplomat who was posted in the CIS countries just after the fall of the Soviet Union.

Uruguay, a small country nestled between the huge territories of Argentina and Brazil on South America’s Atlantic coast, doesn’t have a large, active Jewish community and is not a common destination for Jews .

But we were “in the neighborhood” anyway, visiting shochtim and examining the famous South American slaughterhouses of the region, so we took the opportunity to scout out Jewish finds in this tranquil, warm, verdant country.

On a bright Saturday afternoon I drove through Montevideo’s northern suburbs with sports journalist José Gallo, with no sign of a football stadium in sight.

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An Oasis of Peace The gentleman with MI6 written all over his face told me with incredible conviction that Uruguay was the best place in the world to live in.

“Uruguayan football is a miracle”, my guide Nacho tells me, “we have less than three and a half million people and 15 Copas América – more than any other country – two Olympic titles, two World Cups… Brazil alone has over three million registered footballers… ” And it’s true: Uruguay is without any challengers the most successful footballing country in the world, per capita. OK, its last World Cup win was in 1950 – the Maracanazo, when it inflicted a Brazilian national disaster by winning in Rio – and the national team failed to make it past the group stages of last month’s Copa América (the Americas’ version of the Euros) when they were beaten by Venezuela.

But Uruguay has continued to produce great players, and has never, ever been a soft touch.

The Gulf is not a destination — it's where people go so that they can afford to settle in places like Australia, where they speak English and watch cricket.

Running out of individual freedom-loving, uncrowded and inexpensive countries, I had almost given up, until...




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