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recently) divorced, and you’re wondering if dating this man is a good idea. Some people might automatically say you shouldn’t date anyone who falls into this category, but I’m not a fan of telling someone whether they date someone. My approach is to help you get super realistic about what you want, and what you’re getting into, so that you can make your decision to stay or leave as as possible.

You probably have a million questions on your mind. With that said, if you meet someone you’re really attracted to, but the ink on his divorce papers hasn’t yet had time to dry, you are going to need to approach some things differently if you want to minimize the risk of getting your heart broken.

Divorce is a type of death and requires a process of grief, even when one may have desperately wanted the divorce. Most men live with guilt post-divorce, even when a divorce is more than warranted. BTW, if he's separated versus divorced, consider that a red flag. If he has a hostile relationship with his ex, you can expect a lot more complications than what will already naturally exist when dating or living with a guy who has kids.

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Your new guy may be constantly complaining to you about his ex and before you know it, you are both caught up in the drama of continually talking about her latest antics.

Be particularly cautious if he's already looking for Spouse #2. Periods of adjustment are to be expected, especially if things heat up.

We all need time to heal and don't want to plunge blindly into the rebound relationship. But extreme discomfort, acting out, and outright interference may signal issues just beneath the surface. We would be wise to observe their reactions, heed their reasoned warnings, and consider their hesitation. If you each have children at different stages -- for example, your kids are in elementary school and his are in college -- anticipate some potential problems if you're hoping for a long-term relationship.

How well has your guy worked through the angst of his marriage ending? Some will try to alienate their children from their father as well as his new partner.

Privacy in the home becomes difficult because angry mothers tend to interrogate their children when they return home from Dad's house.




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