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Not to mention that in the rare and precious moments I do have to myself, it feels like a major risk to spend that time with someone I might never see again rather than catching up with friends, reading, zoning out to Netflix, or, you know, sleeping.The men I’d normally take an interest in are often just starting their careers, still in undergrad, or staying out until 3AM every chance they get—whereas I’m living the opposite lifestyle, and as a party of two, not one. In spite of this barrage of challenges, I still have hope.Glazed old-fashioned might be the closest thing to a Bloody Mary you both can get. Speaking of Bloody Marys, hangovers aren't an option anymore. Be supportive if she complains about him, but whatever you do, don't talk badly about him in front of the kids (it's actually included in many custody agreements; don't make a sticky situation stickier). She can't just see how the night goes and stay out as long as she might want. Handling what life serves is her modus operandi — she's been handling it since before you came along, and she's prepared to handle it if you leave. Pamper her because you admire her Terminator strength to always keep going.13. If you want to whisk her away for a romantic weekend, offer to help with the parental logistics so she's relaxed on her trip, not distracted with worry. It's not about being in your 20s or your 30s or your 40s; it's about keeping it together during a living room performance of 9. It's very likely he will be a large part of her life for at least the next 18 years, so get used to it. Babysitters are people too, and good ones are a hot commodity. If she told the babysitter she'd be home by 11, make sure she's home by 11! Goldfish crackers and Band-aids are never far away. Hand sanitizer, Chapstick, a small dinosaur, some crayons, or a flashlight?

There weren't going to be any short cuts, and I didn't know any single mothers to consult for tips.

Liking her kids isn't the same as raising her kids. Be ready for rapid-fire spontaneity or an ironclad calendar. There is nothing more beautiful than a joyful child.

You might have some really great ideas about how you think she could do things, and you might have some strong ideas about how children should behave. You're at the mercy of custody agreements, parent-teacher conferences, skinned knees, stuffy noses, and — buy her wine for this one — lice. Throw everything you know about Sunday Funday out the window.

In my experience, men are often more skilled (or at least faster) at getting back in the game.

I was not in any shape to go out and meet a new love interest, nor was anyone seeking my company (dour divorcee is hardly on the top of anyone's list of desired dates).




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