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There is nothing much worse than having built up a relationship online to then meet the object of your interest only to find them as exciting as a mollusc.It feels as if you are constantly putting yourself on the line, showing off your wares, only to reel in another damp squib.In fact, the figures showed that 3 per cent of Tinder users were between 45 and 54, which meant there were a lot of middle-aged people in its dating pool of 50 million users.Having been struggling to find a catch in what felt like shallow waters for some time, I decided it was worth a plunge in the depths, however murky.We waited a long time to focus on settling down, and now we’re facing a somewhat distressing fact of life: Once you’re over 40, there is a diminished pool of men to choose from.So we figured out – and accepted – that the right man does not magically appear when you’re ready for him. As a 48-year-old mother of four, you can imagine that logging on to this dating app felt like a last resort – strange, weird and somewhat desperate. My friends and family, as well as my children, would have been horrified, given its tawdry reputation for anonymous “hook‑ups” – one only strengthened, this week, by several studies linking it to a huge upsurge in rates of sexually transmitted diseases.

More used to evenings on the sofa with my eight- to 18-year-olds, these dates – and the fact I was even back in the dating pool – felt humiliating and upsetting.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single, attractive, heterosexual woman over the age of 40 must be in need of a man.

Or so Carrie Bradshaw would have you believe; and she is mostly right.

This is one of life’s big mysteries but sometimes I think the key is identifying the right places to look. When you’re over 40, you’re usually pretty comfortable in your own skin You know what you like, and what you don’t.

Maybe you would prefer to hang out at cafes, museums, film festivals and art galleries.




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If you are the type of person that gets jealous when your man shows someone else affection or takes other peoples sides over yours then you may want to run for the hills and pick a different guy. I am not saying that all Italian men are stubborn but let us just say that of all the Italian men I have met, and being Italian myself, there have been many, they have all been super stuck in their ways and unbending.


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