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I was a 21-year-old college student who had just returned home from an amazing six months studying abroad in South Africa.

I'd taught dance to schoolchildren at a local township.

Dating sites are now steering you toward people who have similar tastes in movies, music, religion and education, " Bartz said.

"And people are spending more time on their phones and the dating sites know this.

But too often those opinions were based on anecdotes, assumptions about human behaviour I knew to be wrong, or – worse – pure misogyny.

As a psychologist who has studied attraction, I felt certain that science could offer a better understanding of romantic attraction than all the self-help experts, pick-up artists and agony aunts in the world.

Though my experience was amazing and soul enlivening, I craved something more when it came to my love life. Whether you are aware of it or not, every thought you have, every emotion you feel, everything you hear and read, affects your reality. Simply put it is a Universal Law that says we will attract into our lives the things that we focus our attention on, whether it is positive or negative.Around this time, I was also getting more in touch with my spirituality and reading countless self-help books.One day, as I browsed through my mom's library, I stumbled across a book that caught my eye: “The Soul Mate Secret.”The book’s author, Arielle Ford, claimed that The Law of Attraction — the belief that “like attracts like” and by focusing on positive thoughts, you can bring about positive results — can manifest an ideal romantic partner.

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But it’s important to have that trust that you aren’t going to be hurt — with your partner’s contempt or criticism.

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