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Those who use phrases similar to “hoping to be friends first” are usually looking for fun rather than commitment, says Laurie Davis, founder and CEO of e Flirt Expert, and author of You can also weed out the casual sex seekers by looking at the context around your planned date: Is he willing to set up a date for a week or so later?

Meet for coffee or in a place where you can hear each other talk?

If the date feels like a hook-up, that’s probably what he’s seeking.

To be sure you don’t give the wrong impression, “set a date for the future, and make it the right time of day and place so the intention of getting to know each other is there in the beginning,” recommends Ian Kerner, Ph.

You’re left wondering what went wrong and analyzing (and reanalyzing and reanalyzing) things with your friends. While we’ll never be able to fully understand guys (and we probably wouldn’t want to), you can learn from these moments.

We found 10 women in your situation and asked experts to give their insights on what happened so you can dodge future dating disasters.

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A chat service means you don’t have to give out your number.Does it ever seem like you’re the only one who isn’t interested in meaningless, casual sex?Did you try Tinder for a couple days before realizing you really don’t want to show up at a strange guy’s place at 2am, have sex, and then leave, never to speak to him again? Hookup culture has made dating harder for everyone.Don’t put yourself in situations where you will have to dodge his sexual advances. After a few drinks, hooking up doesn’t seem like such a bad idea.But if you know you’ll regret it the next day, maybe keeping a few of those inhibitions intact would be a wise decision. If it’s acceptable for guys to blatantly say they only want sex, then it’s also acceptable for you to say you don’t.

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You may feel that you don’t want to jeopardize the friendship but you also don’t want to miss out on a good thing.

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