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Even there, though, you seem clear: "I don't want to bring it up ...till we have a conversation about exclusivity." OK. When one of them makes a clear push for more, then you say something to him. Hi Carolyn: I'm back to dating after a multiple-year relationship.Years ago, I think I believed it was wrong for people to "date around" without being explicitly clear that's what they were doing.-- Dating a dad I suppose it's reasonable to want more time with him, and to see including the kids as the means to that end.But it's way more reasonable for this father to use his devotion as a sturdy set of brakes on getting more serious.It has been very hard for me to only see them a couple of times a year if I am lucky.Part of me feels like I have paid my dues back here (a decade longer than planned), and the other part thinks I sound like a brat.

A simple “Why should we care what other people are doing?

I am hoping that eventually those feelings of passion set in, about one of these guys or someone else, and ideally my next serious relationship will lead to marriage.

In the meantime, I am a fun and respectful date, I split costs fairly with each guy, and I am living in the moment while keeping an eye on both their feelings and my instincts about their long-term potential. Does it become wrong if I know (or at least strongly suspect) that a guy is dating only me?

I would like to suggest getting together somewhere with his kids, so we can spend some time together during daylight hours.

But I am not a parent, and I need another perspective to know if this is unreasonable.

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