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In response to a series of tweets and a gushy Facebook message Schoan sent her way, Spelman told him she had a boyfriend and wished him well.But as many other women online and IRL have experienced firsthand, all was not well.*This prompted Jessica Roy at The Cut to wonder whether a best way to turn down a guy even exists. And as the Internet was reminded this week, it’s particularly dicey for straight women turning down straight men.On Monday, Buzzfeed writer Grace Spelman publicized Harry Potter fanboy and (more disconcertingly) Feminspire co-founder Benjamin Schoan’s online flirtation-turned-aggression toward her.

She writes:“The whole exchange is pretty emblematic of the inherent difficulties of rejecting men, both online and off.

After being ghosted and dealing with canceled dates, I found myself crying over random dudes.

It’s exhausting, but moving past these feelings is a process.

For now, I hope to reverse some of the misconceptions surrounding "rejection", and help individuals avoid the negative emotional experiences that often accompany it. (If you want skip the explanation and jump directly to the "take home points" go to Breaking Down Rejection Distortions and Feeling Better below).

At this point, some of you may be wondering why I am using such "elaborate" language to discuss the topic.

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