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I’m going to do my best to summarize– and explain what you can learn from it. 1) Men have a very fair assessment of women’s overall attractiveness.This doesn’t mean that they’re not shallow (they are), but rather, that they are consistent and reasonable in terms of “rating” women’s looks.Literally 2/3 of male messages go to the best looking 1/3 of women.As Ok Cupid observed, the medical term for this is “male pattern madness”.It’s because people’s personalities really do impact how attractive you personally find a person – meaning that you’ll be more open to dating them than you were when you first met them. We’ve already swiped left on anyone we deem to be less attractive than us, and as a result the only matches that really occur are between people of similar levels of physical attractiveness. Add to that the rumours – unconfirmed, but they seem unlikely – that Tinder prioritises the users you see based on the number of right swipes they get (which seemingly show how attractive someone is), and effectively matches people of similar attractiveness on their behalf, and it’s becoming clear that it’s now very, very difficult to get to find someone attractive over time. This isn’t just a bad thing for those who are hoping to land someone hotter than themselves. It’s just that we might be missing out on loads of people who we’d end up fancying over time, because we’re too quick to swipe left on anyone who doesn’t seem attractive at first glance.

Ok Cupid found that when some men think a woman is ugly, other men are more likely to message them.

Let me repeat: It’s women, not men, who have unrealistic standards for the “average” member of the opposite sex.

After coaching women for many years, I already suspected this, but this was a stark realization when you see just how few men you even find to be average looking. Ok Cupid reports that the most attractive women still receive 5X more email than average women and 28X more email than unattractive women.

Attractive people are considered by others to have many positive qualities and in the case of social skills and intelligence, these attributions are often true.

In internet dating, individuals with attractive profile photos are viewed more favorably overall, but no research has yet established whether they indeed have more positive qualities.




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Still, while the headlines want us to believe that hundreds of thousands of seniors are happily engaged in online dating and finding our next partners via their profiles, would that it were that simple!


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